The lamest blog ever

I have been without Internet and now I feel slightly ashamed of this blog. Here's a bunch of crap that I've been missing while disconnected from the world:

Break-ups:

• Amy Winehouse & Blaaaake - She divorced his ass, had an affair with the Babyshambles guitarist (NOT Pete Doherty), and her ex-husband (who is in jail) is asking for $6 million. Update pending.
  Star Jones & Big Gay Al – OK so he’s probably not gay, but he’s been crying like a bitch since the break-up. Plus he married her when she was 200 pounds heavier, what does he expect.
• Liv Tyler & her that musician dude.
• Kanye West & his fiancee.
• Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff. (I smell an Eva affair!)
• Gary Coleman & some dumb chick who married a midget who is 20 years older than her.
• Lindsay Lohan & Sobriety – Wherever Samantha Ronson is, coked-up lesbian sex is involved. Lohan drinking is just the tip of the iceberg. Not like her mother is trying to set a good example or anything.
  

And in hook-ups...

Mariah Carey & some dude. (Married)

Scarlett Johanssen & Ryan Reynolds. (Engaged, Enter: whiny Alanis song, divorce in five years)

Kirsten Dunst & Ryan Gosling. (Boinking)

Eva Mendes & her ex-boyfriend.

Jay-Z & Beyoncee. (Married, surprise surprise, and a pregnancy rumour)

Chris Brown & Rihanna. (Finally the couple confirms what everyone already knew. Hopefully their future careers are as successful as their PR team).

David Hasselhoff & a 29 year old. (Boinking)

Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer. (Boinking)

BITCH OF THE DAY: The latest Rolling Stone cover which features Jack White on the cover with the Rolling Stones' guitarist and frontman Keith Richards and Mick Jagger. Has everyone just forgotten about Brian Jones??

FACT OF THE DAY: Paula Abdul is not sober.